The Benefits of Wearing Your Baby
Every time a new wonder product comes out to save parents the time and trouble of interacting with their babies, I cringe. We have pacifiers to sooth them so that we don’t have to. We have detachable, carry along, car seats so that we don’t have to carry them in our arms. There are super-absorbent diapers that only need to be changed a couple of times a day that keep the baby- handling down to a minimum. And then there are the fancy, specialty baby-soothing items that keep popping up like the dandelions in my front yard: quilts that vibrate, machines that rock and jiggle, mobile music and light shows for hanging over the crib, white noise machines, special lullaby tapes for soothing baby to sleep (Remember when parents used to sing?) Where is my dandelion plucker?!!
You and I live in a culture which discourages “too much” contact between parents and their children. We hear again and again: “She just hovers over that baby. She is much too attached to him.” “He is so overprotective of that baby. He never lets her out of his sight!” “If you don’t put that baby down, he will never learn to walk.” Parents of young infants are often pressured to “Get out together just the two of you. You need time away from the baby!” The societal belief is that babies who spend too much time in the arms of their parents are somehow stunted and will never develop independence. People think that in order for babies to develop self-reliance they must learn to rely on themselves for soothing and comfort as early as possible. In fact, nothing could be farther from the truth. The data very clearly demonstrate what Dr. William Sears, the father of attachment parenting, has been saying for years: “Needs that are met disappear. Needs that are not met simply crop up later in other forms.” Babies need holding.
In every other primate species but homo-sapien, an infant is carried on the mother's body, or in a few species temporarily carried by a trusted female relative, every hour of the day. Studies have shown how damaging mother-infant separation is to primate infants, psychologically and physically. Why then is it that so many people think it is perfectly normal and even beneficial, to leave a human infant alone for hours at a time?
Studies of milk from of a broad range of mammals have shown that members of species that must leave offspring for great lengths of time to forage for food, have very high levels of protein in the mother's milk to sustain the infant for long periods without the parent. Contrast this with the percentage of protein in the milk of species whose offspring require a great deal of parental contact and nurturing to develop optimally. The milk of those species contains comparatively little protein, necessitating almost continual contact between mother and infant for frequent feeding. Does human milk contain high levels of protein or comparatively low levels? The answer is low, some of the lowest in the animal world. (Which is ideal for the development of human babies by the way.) Human infants are meant to spend much of the day on their mother’s bodies, just like every other mother/infant pair in the primate world, the mothers of which also share a comparatively low protein content in their milk.
Human babies need touching to achieve maximum physical, psychological, and cognitive development. They need holding and stroking. Babies who do not get this attention are stunted in each of the aforementioned areas of development to varying degrees, depending on the level of deprivation. All over the world mothers carry their babies on their bodies as they go about their daily work, just as their foremothers did for countless generations: the Chinese, traditional Japanese, the Indian, the Native American, the Ugandan, the Indonesian etc., each culture developing over the millennia, a unique style of baby-carrying. It is only in western culture, and the areas of the world to which it has spread, that the practice has died out, and is in fact frowned upon. “You’re stunting the development of her muscles!” they cry. That is not in fact true. All babies around the world begin walking at about the same time regardless of the carrying practice of the culture, even babies of Native American cultures who spent the first six months of their lives strapped to a cradle board. They might crawl a little later than average, but they are walking right on time.
“You’re spoiling that baby!” we hear over and over. That idea is just plain silly. It is simply not possible to spoil a child with too much holding, hugging, and loving. Spoiling is caused by inconsistent parenting, unreliable enforcement of rules, and the practice of substituting appeasement and material goods for parental time and attention. Furthermore, a village woman in the third world does not have time to “spoil” her baby! Women all over the world work long hard hours, carrying their babies for convenience sake, in many cultures rarely even addressing the baby directly. And yet all day long the infant’s brain and body are receiving continual stimulation as the pair move through space, as he hears his mother’s breathing and watches her work, while he nurses as they walk along. Contrast that experience with that of the average western baby who may have the latest crop of “learning toys” to play with, but spends most of the day flat on her back in a crib or playpen.
American mothers could certainly learn a thing or two by watching their overseas sisters. One of the most common complaints made by American mothers who stay home with their own babies rather than placing them in day-care, is the isolation they feel after the baby is born. They feel trapped in their houses. Many mothers leave their babies to return to work even if the financial need is not pressing, because the lack of stimulation at home and the feeling of being trapped there, is driving them insane. Even that wonderful detachable car seat that is supposed to make traveling so easy falls way short of expectation. It is damnably uncomfortable to carry; throwing one’s back out of alignment and tweaking out the elbow. It doesn’t have to be that way!!! Strap that baby on your body and go! There are a multitude of baby carriers on the. Stick that baby in one and take off! Be free!
From the time my son was tiny, I gardened, worked out at the local health club, and basically continued on with my regular life, all with the aid of my own favorite carrier, the Baby Bundler. I used to feel for all those moms at the mall pushing the heap of baby-related accouterments before them as they made their way through the tightly packed clothing racks, like great barges on the Yangtze river: stroller, diaper bag full of artificial baby milk, bottles, pacifiers and doodads. They would inevitably have one hand full of heavy packages, and be pushing a tiny eight pound baby in the stroller. There I was, zipping around with my baby snug in the Bundler, one diaper and a Ziploc of wipes tucked in on the side, both hands free for anything I needed them for. And I never had a moment’s worry that someone was going to walk off with my baby while by back was turned.
I know women who take their babies to work with them in a sling, the most versatile of carriers. Most people can’t imagine a baby in the work environment. What they don’t realize is that babies who are carried a good portion of the day spend less than half the time crying that their stationary counterparts do. A carried baby is a happy baby. He feels right.
I have a dream. I dream that one day I will walk into a bank, go up to the counter and find that the teller who comes to help me is wearing a sling, bulging with happy baby. Then I hear a giggle and look over to see a toddler playing with the big pile of Legos under the manager’s desk. My dream could be so easily implemented if only we, as a culture, could undergo a revolution of priorities that put the well being of family and society above the idea that time is money. Would it really be a huge problem if your bank teller had to pause for a moment to get her baby latched on before handing you your money? If your copy center person had to sling a toddler onto his hip before coming over to fix the jam in your machine? I, for one, would finally be able to rest in that world, and live happily ever after.
Every time a new wonder product comes out to save parents the time and trouble of interacting with their babies, I cringe. We have pacifiers to sooth them so that we don’t have to. We have detachable, carry along, car seats so that we don’t have to carry them in our arms. There are super-absorbent diapers that only need to be changed a couple of times a day that keep the baby- handling down to a minimum. And then there are the fancy, specialty baby-soothing items that keep popping up like the dandelions in my front yard: quilts that vibrate, machines that rock and jiggle, mobile music and light shows for hanging over the crib, white noise machines, special lullaby tapes for soothing baby to sleep (Remember when parents used to sing?) Where is my dandelion plucker?!!
You and I live in a culture which discourages “too much” contact between parents and their children. We hear again and again: “She just hovers over that baby. She is much too attached to him.” “He is so overprotective of that baby. He never lets her out of his sight!” “If you don’t put that baby down, he will never learn to walk.” Parents of young infants are often pressured to “Get out together just the two of you. You need time away from the baby!” The societal belief is that babies who spend too much time in the arms of their parents are somehow stunted and will never develop independence. People think that in order for babies to develop self-reliance they must learn to rely on themselves for soothing and comfort as early as possible. In fact, nothing could be farther from the truth. The data very clearly demonstrate what Dr. William Sears, the father of attachment parenting, has been saying for years: “Needs that are met disappear. Needs that are not met simply crop up later in other forms.” Babies need holding.
In every other primate species but homo-sapien, an infant is carried on the mother's body, or in a few species temporarily carried by a trusted female relative, every hour of the day. Studies have shown how damaging mother-infant separation is to primate infants, psychologically and physically. Why then is it that so many people think it is perfectly normal and even beneficial, to leave a human infant alone for hours at a time?
Studies of milk from of a broad range of mammals have shown that members of species that must leave offspring for great lengths of time to forage for food, have very high levels of protein in the mother's milk to sustain the infant for long periods without the parent. Contrast this with the percentage of protein in the milk of species whose offspring require a great deal of parental contact and nurturing to develop optimally. The milk of those species contains comparatively little protein, necessitating almost continual contact between mother and infant for frequent feeding. Does human milk contain high levels of protein or comparatively low levels? The answer is low, some of the lowest in the animal world. (Which is ideal for the development of human babies by the way.) Human infants are meant to spend much of the day on their mother’s bodies, just like every other mother/infant pair in the primate world, the mothers of which also share a comparatively low protein content in their milk.
Human babies need touching to achieve maximum physical, psychological, and cognitive development. They need holding and stroking. Babies who do not get this attention are stunted in each of the aforementioned areas of development to varying degrees, depending on the level of deprivation. All over the world mothers carry their babies on their bodies as they go about their daily work, just as their foremothers did for countless generations: the Chinese, traditional Japanese, the Indian, the Native American, the Ugandan, the Indonesian etc., each culture developing over the millennia, a unique style of baby-carrying. It is only in western culture, and the areas of the world to which it has spread, that the practice has died out, and is in fact frowned upon. “You’re stunting the development of her muscles!” they cry. That is not in fact true. All babies around the world begin walking at about the same time regardless of the carrying practice of the culture, even babies of Native American cultures who spent the first six months of their lives strapped to a cradle board. They might crawl a little later than average, but they are walking right on time.
“You’re spoiling that baby!” we hear over and over. That idea is just plain silly. It is simply not possible to spoil a child with too much holding, hugging, and loving. Spoiling is caused by inconsistent parenting, unreliable enforcement of rules, and the practice of substituting appeasement and material goods for parental time and attention. Furthermore, a village woman in the third world does not have time to “spoil” her baby! Women all over the world work long hard hours, carrying their babies for convenience sake, in many cultures rarely even addressing the baby directly. And yet all day long the infant’s brain and body are receiving continual stimulation as the pair move through space, as he hears his mother’s breathing and watches her work, while he nurses as they walk along. Contrast that experience with that of the average western baby who may have the latest crop of “learning toys” to play with, but spends most of the day flat on her back in a crib or playpen.
American mothers could certainly learn a thing or two by watching their overseas sisters. One of the most common complaints made by American mothers who stay home with their own babies rather than placing them in day-care, is the isolation they feel after the baby is born. They feel trapped in their houses. Many mothers leave their babies to return to work even if the financial need is not pressing, because the lack of stimulation at home and the feeling of being trapped there, is driving them insane. Even that wonderful detachable car seat that is supposed to make traveling so easy falls way short of expectation. It is damnably uncomfortable to carry; throwing one’s back out of alignment and tweaking out the elbow. It doesn’t have to be that way!!! Strap that baby on your body and go! There are a multitude of baby carriers on the. Stick that baby in one and take off! Be free!
From the time my son was tiny, I gardened, worked out at the local health club, and basically continued on with my regular life, all with the aid of my own favorite carrier, the Baby Bundler. I used to feel for all those moms at the mall pushing the heap of baby-related accouterments before them as they made their way through the tightly packed clothing racks, like great barges on the Yangtze river: stroller, diaper bag full of artificial baby milk, bottles, pacifiers and doodads. They would inevitably have one hand full of heavy packages, and be pushing a tiny eight pound baby in the stroller. There I was, zipping around with my baby snug in the Bundler, one diaper and a Ziploc of wipes tucked in on the side, both hands free for anything I needed them for. And I never had a moment’s worry that someone was going to walk off with my baby while by back was turned.
I know women who take their babies to work with them in a sling, the most versatile of carriers. Most people can’t imagine a baby in the work environment. What they don’t realize is that babies who are carried a good portion of the day spend less than half the time crying that their stationary counterparts do. A carried baby is a happy baby. He feels right.
I have a dream. I dream that one day I will walk into a bank, go up to the counter and find that the teller who comes to help me is wearing a sling, bulging with happy baby. Then I hear a giggle and look over to see a toddler playing with the big pile of Legos under the manager’s desk. My dream could be so easily implemented if only we, as a culture, could undergo a revolution of priorities that put the well being of family and society above the idea that time is money. Would it really be a huge problem if your bank teller had to pause for a moment to get her baby latched on before handing you your money? If your copy center person had to sling a toddler onto his hip before coming over to fix the jam in your machine? I, for one, would finally be able to rest in that world, and live happily ever after.
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